It might not be the first question, but it’s always in the top 5… How’s school going? What are you planning to do with your degree? Are you seeing anyone special? Blah blah blah…
As for the first two questions, I can’t help you there. However, it’s time to stop dreading the question about that “special someone” because being single is nothing to be ashamed of.
Here are 5 reasons why you should embrace being single in your early twenties (or ever).
1. Your twenties are a time for self discovery.
Whether it’s college, a trade school, or even just moving out of your parent’s basement… your twenties are the time to experience new things, visit new places, and meet new people. It can be difficult to broaden your horizons when you have to be considerate of someone else’s schedule and tastes. If you want to get Thai food and binge watch chick flicks with your gal pals, then you should be able to do so without feeling guilty about leaving your S.O. at home. It’s a time to be selfish!
2. Women are friends… NOT foe.
As just mentioned, your twenties are an exciting time to meet new people and try new things. It is NOT the time to be in a pissing match with the girl who’s been texting your boyfriend because he never thought to mention your existence. Cut the drama of viewing other women as threats and get to socializing.
Even if meeting new people isn’t your jam, dating still takes time away from your friends and family. Not to say that relationships don’t last, but you don’t want to look back on opportunities you missed out on because you were preoccupied with your S.O.
It’s a good time to focus on being present in the moment with people you cherish.
3. The only two outcomes- you either break up or get married.
Honestly both are equally scary. Is this something you’re comfortable with in your early twenties? You either invest all of this time and energy into someone just to end up with your heart broken, or a summer fling turns into being tied down until the end of time. Honestly, there’s no reason to fast track either outcome.
4. You’re setting yourself up for failure.
You can’t take care of someone before you take care of yourself. If you don’t take the time to get to know yourself, you’ll never be capable of having a healthy relationship. And when it’s one unhealthy relationship after another, you’re just adding more fuel to the fire by setting both parties up for additional issues in future relationships.
Interested in starting your healing journey? Here are some of my favorite books: The Untethered Soul, The Four Agreements, How to Do the Work
5. Your twenties are a time for BIG decisions.
You should never be forced to plan your future around someone else. Even if you think it’s worth it, things could go wrong at any time and you don’t want to look back with regret. You only have one life to make these choices and it’s easier when the choice is yours and yours only. Even if you don’t know exactly what you want to do, you should never put your goals on hold to accommodate for someone else’s.
In summary, your twenties are a time to explore and be selfish. Travel and try new things, but most importantly get to know yourself and focus on becoming comfortable on your own. Most importantly, try things that make you uncomfortable.